2012

    This year is going to hold so much. It started off great by that phone call I got from Daniel since he left for basic. On the 30th of this month is will be a year since we had a place of our own. Both mine and Daniel's parents have been huge blessings with letting us stay with them. I will always be grateful to them, but there is nothing like having a home of your own. A place where you can go to get away from it all. A place to "unplug" from the world and just be with Daniel and Nathan. In 2012 we will finally get a place to call "home". A place where we can be a family again. It will take a lot of getting used to given the fact that we don't even know where that will be. I'm excited, I'm excited to feel like the mom and wife that I want to be. It will mean a whole new meaning to the words family and home.
 
     Also in 2012 Daniel will graduate from basic and we will officially be a Air Force family. Watching Daniel go into the Air Force was very hard for me. There where a lot of tears for many reason's. I didn't want my husband to go and to leave me to take care of Nathan. Mostly I was jealous. It has been my dream and goal of joining the Air Force since I was 16 years old. I have had so many things stop me. When Daniel and I reconnected in my senior year I was talking to a recruiter and getting ready to join. I was given the choice of either choosing Daniel or the Air Force. I chose Daniel. After Daniel and I got married we were both enlisting together, but then I got pregnant with Nathan. I thought that those where my signs that it wasn't in the plans for me to be in the Air Force. Now I'm not so sure. I found out recently that it isn't too late for me to join after all. Daniel and I have talked about this SO much. We have prayed about it and talked about other options. We both believe that if I'm given the chance to do something that I have wanted to do for so long then I should do it. It will mean a lot of big sacrifices. For example we will have to wait on the next baby. I have had HUGE baby fever since Nathan turned one. I would dream about that little baby that would be the younger brother or sister to Nathan. I have cried when people announced that they were pregnant because I wanted to be pregnant so bad. I have asked a lot of people for their in put on me joining the Air Force and most of it was negative. I have been told that I would be a bad mom for wanting to leave my child. That Nathan will only be this little for so long. I know this. I know the sacrifices I will make if I decide to do this. I know it will mean missing out on things for Nathan. I have just chosen to look at the bigger picture. If something were to happen to Daniel I would not be able to take care of Nathan and I. All I have is a high school diploma. That won't get me very far. I need something that is stable. I need to be able to take care of my family if something where to happen.
I want my children to be able to do whatever they put their little minds to. I don't want to have to tell them that they can't do something because we couldn't afford it. I know by loosing time with Nathan now before he will be able to remember it will help us out in the long run. I have wanted to go into the Air Force for the past 7 years. That is along time to have a dream and have that dream never let up. I will have to work hard to get a good grade of my ASAVB. I will probably have to work harder then some at basic because I'm small and everyone is bigger then 5 foot and 98 pounds. I will have to work my bum off to make this happen. Daniel will be behind me and cheering for me and that is all I need. I don't want to spend my whole life wondering "what if". That is no way to live. If I don't do this then I will live a life on what ifs. I want to be able to tell my children when they are older to reach for their goals and do whatever then need to do to make those goals happen. Because I will. I will do whatever I need to to make my goals/dreams come true. I'm not going to be another person that gave up on life. I'm going to make it better no matter how hard I will have to work to get there!
  
    2012 is going to hold so much. For me this year will be the year for dreams to come true. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that happens!